Understanding Collaborative Divorce: A Better Path Forward

Collaborative law is a legal process designed for people who want to settle disputes – most commonly in divorce or family law – without ever entering a courtroom. It can be thought of as a “truce” where both parties agree from the start that they will not let anyone else make decisions for their family. If the process breaks down and someone decides to go to court, both lawyers must withdraw, and everyone starts over with new counsel. This “all-in” commitment serves specific groups of people very effectively.

An Ideal Couple for Collaborative Law

Collaborative law is less about the “legal facts” of a case and more about the mindset of the people involved. Because the process removes the threat of a courtroom, it requires a high level of personal accountability. A good candidate generally checks most of the following boxes:

• You value relationship over “winning”

• You want to maintain control

• You commit to “full-disclosure”

• You have a complex situation

Both parties will need to be candidates for the process to work. If one person wants to collaborate and the other wants to “stick-it-to-you,” the process cannot move forward.

Resolving Complex Financial Situations

One highly beneficial factor of the collaborative law process is the use of a financial neutral. They act as the single source of data collection for the couple’s money instead of each person hiring their own expert. The financial neutral remains unbiased and can help parties map out different potential solutions to the financial puzzle together so they can see the big picture and decide what’s best. Financial neutrals:

• Work with the parties to gather data

• Create asset and debt spreadsheets

• Create a cashflow analysis

• Calculate tax implications for possible settlement scenarios

Disagreements Are Exactly What Collaborative Law Resolves

Collaborative law is specifically designed to handle conflicts. The process isn’t about avoiding disagreements but rather about how you resolve them. There may be many scenarios to resolution and the process helps the parties identify and analyze them to decide what’s best. The collaborative process works unless one party (or both) stop negotiating and decide to leave the collaborative law framework to let a judge make decisions.

Simple disagreements are welcome and expected, but things like dishonesty, secrecy, threats, and refusal to participate make the collaborative process impossible.

When children are involved, being able to resolve disagreements in a healthy way will positively serve all family members, especially children, setting all participants up for a healthy future as co-parents.

Ready to Explore Collaborative Law?

Blethen Berens family law attorney Beth Serrill has completed the Collaborative Law Institute of Minnesota training and is a continued member of their organization along with the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. When families decide to transition, Beth’s goal is to facilitate communications and create environments where families can craft plans that will work for their future, especially if minor children are involved.